shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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