I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
