wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
