So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
