You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
