I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
