Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
