Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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