If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
where are my eyebrows?
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