piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
