ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
