Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dignity is for republicans.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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