problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
