and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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