you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
