so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
