I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just had sex on a roof
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
