did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
