please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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