I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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