Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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