Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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