Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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