But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You can't motorboat a personality
you would pick up someone in the library
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
