My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
