what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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