im six kinds of drunk right now
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She bit a glass in half.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
