where am i from again
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
