Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
