yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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