Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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