youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
