1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
