i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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