That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
