Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned

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(516): View more from New York

Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought

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(520): View more from Arizona

The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.

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(410): View more from Maryland

There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Marry him. Now.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in

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