He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
