She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
