Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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