wakey wakey hands off snakey
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
