Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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