Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
