Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
