Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
