I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
