u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
