Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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