You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
