Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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