Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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